3D Fail

Last weekend we saw the final installment of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I bought the tickets a day early, picked up our 3D glasses, and daydreamed about all of the popcorn and fountain coke I would consume. I was a bit sad I hadn’t finished the books before seeing the final movie, but alas, I knew life would go on.

Anywho, on Sunday night we arrived at the movie theater, snagged some snacks, and settled in to the snuggly stadium seats. Maggie introduced me to the movie theater sin that is Buncha Crunch (tiny nuggets of Nestle Crunch) sprinkled over the top of your buttered popcorn. I was hesitant at first, but boy, am I ever glad I trusted Maggie Mae on this one. Try it. You won’t be sorry. Then say a thank-you to Maggie, movie snack connoisseur.

I mentioned that we sprung for the 3D showing. I had never seen a movie in 3D, and I was plenty excited for Harry Potter in 2D, but at my brother’s suggestion, I decided we’d try it. This was the final Harry Potter, after all. We were going to go all out.

Most of the previews weren’t in 3D, and lots of other movie-goers didn’t have theirs on, but we decided we’d be extra nerdy and wear our 3D glasses (which happened to look like Wayfarers!) from the get-go. We’re cool like that.

Giddily I lean over to HB and say, “It’s like wearing sunglasses at night!” Har, har.
Like a good husband, he indulges my humor because he loves me.

What feels like fourteen 2D previews later, one appears to be in 3D. Now, as I said before, I had never experienced 3D, so when the images looked a little fuzzy to me, I thought I was just getting used to it or something.

A few moments into the preview, I think, ‘maybe the preview isn’t really in 3D. Surely the Harry Potter 3D will be better.’ I push the glasses down my nose and look over them to see if the picture looks any clearer.

It doesn’t. Interesting.

But when fuzzy Harry Potter opening credits begin to roll on the screen, I start to panic. This was the moment I had been waiting for! Since NOVEMBER! Stupid 3D was ruining it!

I whisper to HB, “Hey! Are yours working? Can you see it clearly?”

He nods in the affirmative. Ruh-roh.

Now I am really worried. Why is it that I am always the last one to catch on? Why am I not normal? Determined to get to the bottom of this, I say, “Let me try yours.”

What do you know, I put his on, and all is right in the world of Harry Potter. Dementors are flying through the air–in 3D!–looking even more joy-sucking than ever.

I suggest, “I think mine are broken,” sliding mine back onto my face. As in the Pretty Woman opera scene.

“These are broken. Mine are broken.”

Then it hits me. I reach up and pull them off my face. It’s dark, so I feel the outline of the lenses.

Flashback: “It’s like wearing sunglasses at night!”

Why did my glasses not work?

Yup. I was that girl.

I’m just going to act like that never happened.

Happy Monday!


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